A kindly beast, my fly is black
He rarely lies upon his back
And when he does, I note he’s dead
(Stuck in the butter on my bread)

'Flies'

Beware the fly with purple legs!
His buddies are the very dregs
They like to sit around and fart
Because they think it’s cool and smart

The fly who has bright orange wings
Is lots of fun and rarely stings
He likes to jest and wears a vest
(His mother told him, she knows best)

So please don’t crush a fly for fun
And put away that sticky bun
A fly that’s free is full of glee
And buzzes off soon after tea.

_________________

Cartoon by Ian Baker

In case anyone is inclined to relax for even a moment, I bring you the next great global health scare. It’s a world exclusive.

Mammoth Flu: you feel hot, even on cold days

This latest threat to human survival is like a real-life Jurassic Park scenario, with just enough plausibility to justify an elevated state of alarm!

Be very afraid – and if this turns into the BIG ONE, remember you got your first warning here…

The (as yet) slender factual basis for a Level 5 Alert is in this seemingly inoffensive article in yesterday’s Independent: Microbes found miles beneath Greenland ice given new life. I know, the storyline needs a bit more fleshing in. But I figure the mainstream hacks can do that.

Incidentally, if your dog ever digs up an unusually large bone, you might get it checked out by a paleontologist. You don’t know what might have chewed it last.

A beetle needs to own six boots
Or go barefoot instead
Some beetles gnaw away at roots
While others munch on bread.

Lophostemon grandifloris: a local beneficial beetle (Source: Ken Walker, Museum Victoria)

Though beetles ride on lizards’ backs
If given half the chance
They do resent surprise attacks
Preferring sweet romance.

In many ways, you’ll find your life
Is like the life of beetle
So if you ever take a wife
Don’t lose her in the treacle.

A happy puggle

“In the most ancient layers of Greek mythology, Echidna… was called the ‘Mother of All Monsters‘”
(Source: Wikipedia)

_________

Because they wear a spikey coat
And rarely show their face
Echidnas have a monstrous name
(A source of some disgrace).

Not fair, because these monotremes
Cause neither strife nor tears.
The juniors, once they have hatched
Have quite delightful ears.

A wary puggle

When little, they’re called puggles
(That’s when they’re not too prickly).
The males have most unusual tools
Which make their wives feel tickly!

You’ll seldom find another beast
So pleasing, yet so spiny
Forget about the fearsome name
It’s cute and fun and tiny!