Each year, hundreds of millions of children around the world get sports injuries.

The statistics are horrifying and the problem is by no means confined to children; many grown adults (who really should know better by that stage in their lives) also fall victim to this epidemic of self-harm.

Australia is one of the worst cases. From football fields to cricket nets, tennis courts to surfing beaches we find the same grim pattern: thousands upon thousands of avoidable injuries daily, sometimes serious, occasionally leading to permanent disability or even death.

Calling off the War on Drugs? Australia's spare war-fighting capacity can now be directed at really evil enemies

Governments have been slow to act. Indeed, the public is often encouraged to think that it’s OK to engage in sporting self-harm. This is partly cultural – but of course big money is the root cause. Vast sums are made by sports purveyors as they peddle their deadly products to an unwary population – targeting youth and preying on the most vulnerable sports-addicts in our society.

Tolerance has been tried, but it has comprehensively failed. Some liberals hoped a little ping pong might not be too harmful at weekends, but it’s a gateway sport that leads on to dangerous field sports and worse. The best policy, of course, is to just say no to sport – and governments should show zero tolerance to sports abusers.

Sports injuries impose a terrible burden on our hospitals and medical system as a whole. There are huge costs to the economy in terms of absenteeism and lost working days. Sports tempt students to skip on their studies. Then there are the millions of passive consumers of sport, who sit at home growing obese watching others engage in these anti-social activities, irradiated by big-screen TV.

Worst of all, sports fans occasionally congregate in large groups to watch “matches” where professional sports addicts are encouraged to compete like gladiators in Ancient Rome. The behaviour of large congregations of sport-fans is so atrocious it makes urban rioters look like gentlemen.

As tolerance and harm minimization have been tried without success, there’s only one solution to the problem…

We need a global WAR on Sports!

Australia's 'Tough on Sports' PM Julia Gillard educates children on the perils of sport: "Sports kill people, they rip families apart, they destroy lives and we want to see less harm done through sports usage."

These dangerous activities should be completely banned and we must unleash our under-employed police to go after pushers of sports products and their hapless users. We’ll certainly need special Sports Squads to target the pernicious industry, along with anti-corruption police to make sure corrupt sports police don’t end up running illicit sports rackets.

Above all, we must ensure children are taught to avoid these dangerous activities from a very early age.

Better border protection will help us avoid the harmful impact of the international trade in soccer balls, tennis rackets and surf boards. Mail intercepts will crack down on sports profiteers who operate in cyberspace.

Australia is well placed to lead the War on Sports.

Although we have a dubious international reputation for being sports-crazy, if we can take on the powerful sports industry and ban it coast to coast, it will prove to the world what can be achieved with guts and determination. Our expertise is sports-suppression will doubtless become a major Australian export industry in the decades ahead.

In agony AGAIN!: only deviants could call this harmless fun

A few whingers may complain that they enjoy sports. Some may even try to claim they’re only engaging behaviour that doesn’t affect others.

These are very selfish arguments.

Australia’s bookish Foreign Minister – a man who’s been completely sports-free for many years and thrives as a result – said it well.

Senator Bob Carr is a moderate on banning sports and an advocate of harm minimisation rather than ruthless suppression. Even so, Carr said recently that doing sport is “dumb”. He advised anyone feeling tempted to “go for a bushwalk instead!”

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POSTSCRIPT – 5th April 2012

It seems I’m not the only one to have serious concerns about the sports pandemic.

Alan Watt, who has a website called Cutting through the Matrix, takes a dim view of the role of mass sport in the media-facilitated dumbing down of modern humanity.

Thanks to PsychoANONysis for the heads up on this.

In a move that stunned critics in the press gallery, Julia Gillard has promoted the well-known blogger Bob Carr – whisking him into Parliament as a Senator and instantly appointing him Minister for Foreign Affairs.

This is the first time in Australian history a blogger has been promoted so fast.

Bob Carr sworn in by a laughing Governor General and smiling Prime Minister

Canberra sources say astonished public servants in the Department of Foreign Affairs are burning midnight oil pouring through every cached version of Bob Carr’s blog to locate opinions that need to be fixed immediately. The organisation has no corporate memory of ministers with their own opinions.

For his part, newly-appointed Minister Carr is understood to be undergoing intense re-education to stamp out any lingering independent ideas. It seems to be working. Carr has disowned his former shocking opinion that attacking Libya was a bad idea. This morning, Senator Carr made acceptably crass remarks about the need for regime change in Syria.

The press gallery are understood to be furious over Carr’s appointment, not only because it made most of them look like prize idiots. They also believe if anyone is to be parachuted directly into Cabinet it should be a member of the media elite.

There’s nothing like a live mic at a summit to get the facts out!

In this case, Silvio whispers sweet somethings to Sarko the Sayan

Angela titters as Silvio "Bunga-Bunga" Berlusconi pricks the Eurozone's largest ego

Libya continues to be hit, on average, approximately every half hour by a NATO bombing attack in a ‘campaign’ of wreaking murderous damage that’s been underway for five months and counting.

For me, one consequence of following the bloody events in Libya has been making the acquaintance – from a safe distance – of some of the western journalists reporting from Libya.

Tripoli-based reporters stay at the now-legendary Rixos Hotel. It’s an arrangement that seems to suit all sides, despite routine grumbles from the valiant ladies and gentlemen of the ‘free press’ and bouts of quite extraordinary paranoia (The Guardian informs us one ‘journalist’ refused all hot food, believing it to be spiked with sedatives!)

Importantly, as long as these westerners remain at the Rixos,  NATO can avoid the embarrassment of wiping out the entire western press corp by ‘mistake’ . That would be a terrible blow to the prestige of western humanitarians. Unlike their Libyan hosts, the Rixos set have real faces, real friends, real families and lives that matter.

The Libyan Government, for its part, can keep a close eye on the bastards while they’re staying at the Rixos. This is typically portrayed as ‘paranoia’ on the part of the Government. Those who make the claim seem to have forgotten how many German journalists were allowed to report freely from London during World War Two – and how the British State might have dealt with any who tried.

Ivan Watson, CNN. Spends most nights tucked up safely 'embed' at the Rixos

On any given day, a Twitter search for “Rixos” is a way of getting some idea which western journalists are in Tripoli and what they’re up to. There has been quite a turnover since March! It’s been like a soap opera for news junkies.

Ivan Watson, who works for CNN, is neither the worst nor the best of the Rixos crowd. He’s easy to tease because of his movie-star wannabee photo. But in fairness, one senses occasional attempts on his part to explain the full horror of what’s happening and even register a murmur of protest. Here’s his recent report, filed soon after attending a mass funeral near Zliten. In this unusual case, the articulate Libyan Government spokseman, Moussa Ibrahim, actually gets a few coherent sentences in edgeways on the tape.

Yet the lapse is only temporary. Ivan is back on track almost straight away – posing once again as the hard-nosed, sceptical, ‘can’t fool me’ style of reporter that his bosses expect… while Ivan is in Libya.

In case the CNN overlords send Mr Watson to London next, I’ve taken the liberty of writing his next story, using the same ‘Rixos-style’ of reporting – a technique that shows western journalists haven’t entirely lost the capacity for scepticism).

Here it is:

Ivan goes to London

Yesterday, travelling by bus with other reporters based at London’s Soxir Hotel, I was taken to witness dramatic scenes apparently caused by people the UK regime describes as ‘rioters’.

We saw what appeared to be many burning buildings. However, it was impossible for us to confirm these fires were, as the regime asserts, lit by rebellious civilians.

We also observed what did appear to be riots in progress. Some people seemed noticeably angry, but it was not possible for us to verify they were genuine rioters.

A massive police presence on the streets shows the isolated Cameron regime is still struggling to re-impose dictatorial rule.

A shop on fire in London, August 2011. Claims by the Cameron regime that this fire was started by rioters cannot be independently verified

A spokesman for the regime claimed hundreds of fires have been started by ‘rioters’ in recent days. That claim cannot be independently confirmed. Estimates of damage vary widely.

The only ordinary Britons willing to talk openly with us claimed to support the Government. I witnessed at least one surreptitious thumbs down sign. It’s hard to guage accurately the full extent of opposition to Downing Street.

The respected Tripoli-based ‘Committee for Protection of British Property’ yesterday issued a statement strongly condemning the Cameron Government for complicity in burning down its own peoples’ shops and homes.

“The world community demands that Cameron steps down immediately!” said CPBP Chairman Dr I’m-Ratha-Spooki, speaking by satellite phone from an undisclosed location.

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Also by Ivan Watson: In Libya – as always in war – civilians pay highest price (August 5th 2011)