The Ottoman Empire in 1914

It’s understandable that sometimes Turkish people feel disheartened.

Less than 100 years ago, the Ottoman Empire was quite a force in the world. It ruled a large swathe of real estate. By some accounts, a phenomenal variety of ethnicities, languages and religions lived within its borders in relative amity.

Then the Sultan and his advisers got sucked into a war they never really wanted with the British and French. Even fierce antipodeans turned up on their beaches to take shots at them. Eventually stripped of its Empire by more voracious imperialists, Turkey was cut down to size. The region known as Palestine was grabbed for a very special purpose: to create a ‘Jewish Homeland’, known from 1948 onwards as the State of Israel.

Now – just when the Turks thoughts their worst troubles might be over – I have decided to launch the Hattusa Movement. Happily, I have powerful backers and a cause that’s self-evidently fair and reasonable.

It's all ours and we want it back!

My goal is a homeland for all Indo-European people – a place we Aryans can truly call our own.

I call on Indo-Europeans everywhere – from California to New Dehli – to join this noble quest to restore the greater Hittite Empire. OK – I know it’s bad news for Lebanon and for the Syrians too – but no omelet was ever made without breaking eggs…